It’s fair to feel frustrated and angry when your husband/boyfriend chooses the dog over you. Don’t worry, I will help you based on how I deal with such a situation with my boyfriend.
Your husband/boyfriend may choose the dog over you due to your overreacting behavior, frustration about past relationships, psychological issues, relationships are different. Direct discussions, keeping the dog busy, advice from experts, changing monotonous life, training the dog are solutions.
If you can spot the exact reason why this can happen, solving these problems is not as difficult as you think. We will consider 5 leading causes for this and 8 solutions and other essentials.
Table of Contents
Why does your husband/boyfriend choose the dog over you?
One of my friends had that problem, and she told me to solve it. So I began to wonder why things like this were happening. Of course, that wasn’t an easy one. I had to check on both their dog and the relationship.
Indeed they had a fantastic girly golden retriever dog. She was too friendly, innocent, and cute. So why did my friend’s man act like that? It was kinda miserable.
What I had to do is I chose the people who suffer from this problem and their partners too. And then, I listed some questions, and they had to be answered.
According to the answer, I found some reasons why their husband/boyfriend chose the dog over them. Lemme show
Note: I know you are suffering from this problem. The reasons, solutions can be varied according to circumstance. Therefore, please walk calmly through all of the reasons to spot your case. Accordingly, identify your solution.
1. Maybe you’re overreacting.
The first thing I can suggest to you is that you overreact to certain things.
Probably, your boyfriend knows about this and says things like, “If I had to choose one from the dog and girlfriend, I would definitely choose my dog.”.
Probably he does this just to provoke you!
My boyfriend always does things like this to provoke me because he knows that I’m a girl who is overreacting, deceived, and disturbed by his natters.
Once he said,
Baaabe, I have something to say to you that is always bothering me in my head. I’m not sure how you will react. Maybe you will get angry.There is someone who has always been with me since I was little. To be honest, I can’t even imagine life without her. I feel like she is my breath.
Finally, I just wanna tell you this secret.
I was shocked! I immediately asked him who she was. For a minute or two, he did not respond to me. Finally, he could no longer maintain his serious mood, and he said, “her name is Oxygen”…
I immediately jumped on his body and slapped his chest. Fortunately, now I know what his baits look like.
If you also someone like me, be wise and try to understand what he aims for. By the way, if he isn’t acting, kindly head over to the below reasons.
2. Relationships are different.
One of the essential things you need to know about guys is that his relationship with you or the dog cannot be compared. Because it’s totally different.
Therefore, if you think something like the husband/boyfriend chooses his dog over you based on his genuine love and attention for the dog, Girl…, I’m sorry to say this, bus YOU’RE WRONG!
As I said above, IT’S TOTALLY Different kinds of relationships AND different kinds of affections.
Lemme explain this point by point.
- Your boyfriend grew up with his beloved dog, having solid bond between both of them and his remarkable affection and attention toward the dog is totally natural thing.
- Usually men don’t show their love often. Of couse, you can realize that your spouce loves you even if he isn’t always express it physically. However, with regards canines, they read physical signals in order to identify the mood of their owners. Because dogs aren’t well sophisticated creatures as humans.
- Mens sees dogs as their childs and the best friend. Dogs are always willing to provide their unconditional love 24 X 7 without day night difference. They greet whenever the owner return home.
- Just imagine if you have a loving pooch that you’ve raised from the puppyhood, fed, traiend, spent thousands of sweet days for years, what whould you do?
Recommended reading: I’m jealous of my boyfriend’s/husband’s dog [What to do?]
3. Your boyfriend/husband may be frustrated about past relationships.
If your husband/boyfriend seems to choose his dog over you, There might be an underneath reason that you haven’t even realized yet.
I mean, just think for a bit before a judge by what you see. Remember the story you learned in elementary school?
Try digging deeper a little about his past relationships. Maybe his ex-girlfriends cheated on him or broke up with him, resulting he doesn’t have fair reason to trust another relationship.
However, when it comes to his dog, you just need to ask him how often his loving pooch has disappointed him.
DON’T GET ME WRONG! I don’t mean that you’re a bad girlfriend/wife whatsoever. Your partner may wanna true love so badly. And you are the most suitable person for that duty on this planet earth!
You know what, many men that had a really tough childhood and didn’t receive any true love even from their parents tend to show such behaviors.
Just think about dogs for movements. They’re willing to share their affection by running toward the owner even they’re old and prone to severe health issues like arthritis, kidney, and liver problems, just like a small puppy.
Again, a dog’s love is unconditional. We all have to accept that fact.
How do you know this is your case? Well, just make coffee for both of you on a lovely eve and ask a bit about his ex-girlfriend(s), parents gently and in warm affection.
Read his facial expressions and see how difficult it was for him to remember those days. By the way, if this is your case, just head over to the solution. Because I have wonderful solutions for you.
4. He has psychological issues.
If your husband/boyfriend suddenly started to choose his dog over you, perhaps he is suffering from a psychological issue. People’s mental problems can manifest in a variety of ways.
Here are some of the reasons that trigger mental illness in men.
- Financial concerns.
- Issues with job.
- Severe stress.
- Personal triggers, maybe a childhood trauma.
- Problems with the relationship.
- Problems with other family members including Mother, Farther, Brother, Sister.
- Skipping regular meals.
- Particular health issue.
- Excessive anxiety.
- Firm feelings of anger.
Moreover, you need to understand how your man gonna manifest this issue besides choosing the dog over you. Here they are.
- Appetite change.
- Sudden mood changes.
- Abnormal increment of sensitivity.
- Lack of social interation.
- Sleep routine changes.
- Functioning issues with regular tasks.
- Unusal behavior.
- Illogical thinking behavior.
- Unusual habits.
- Always get distracted.
Girl…, I just wanna tell you that there may be something completely different there than what you see. Please test the water a bit before judging. Because that’s your man. You chose him because you thought he was perfect, right?
5. He is not the right guy!
If your husband/boyfriend chooses the dog over you, The last possible reason available to point out here is he is not the right guy. I’m sorry girl..,
I think his attitude, the way he thinks, should change. However, I’m afraid to tell you to make a decision about your relationship because I know nothing about your relationship. So, everything is up to you.
What to do if your husband/boyfriend chooses the dog over you?
This problem is not a very simple case. You know what, because of this matter, your relationship/marriage life can be destroyed. Do you wanna blast your bond? No, you don’t want to.
This problem is running around emotional matters, so when you deal with it, you have to be careful because only one fact can make things worse. Let’s see what you can do if your husband/boyfriend chooses the dog over you.
You can make a direct discussion, try to change yourself, be patient with both of them, get help and advice from experts, change your monotonous life, let him feel your value. Try the above strategies, and then you can see changes.
Recommended reading: Can you leave a dog downstairs at night? [Vet Advice]
1. You can make a direct discussion
You should not hide your feelings. Tell him how you feel when he chooses his dog over you. Be truthful and talk directly.
Consider talking to your partner about your concern. But, be sure not to confront him out of anger. You know about guys. So he would not even realize that something was wrong.
Therefore, you gotta be calm and sit beside your partner and just tell him,
“Hey, babe… I recently saw that you give your dog more affection than you give me, and it bothers me so badly. What’s going on? Are you okay?”
Hopefully, your boyfriend will definitely realize your concern and be more affectionate with you.
However, you need to initiate affection with your husband/boyfriend and make him understand that you feel neglected most of the time.
2. Try to change yourself
Your partner might be a dog lover. So you cannot change him at all. The best thing you have to do is change yourself. As a girlfriend/wife, you have to live with him your entire life.
If you are an anti-dog person, try to close your partner’s dog and feel the real sentiment of having a dog.
3. Get help and advice from experts
So many women suffering from this matter. You are not the only one. You can get advice and help a woman who knows about this problem.
Taking advice can set your mind positively. Do not care when your husband/boyfriend prioritizes a dog over you. Stay like a real woman.
Moreover, couple consulting is another suggestion that is worth trying in order to understand the common ground between you with the help of an unbiased expertise mediator.
4. Change your monotonous life
How is your life going? If you are engaged with your daily work, how do you feel about having a dog? You will see it as kind of troublesome because you don’t have enough time.
Get some rest and stay with your partner and his dog for a while.
One of the easiest methods to get back good affection and attention toward you is to talk with him about non-dog occasions. Here are few suggestions.
- A late night dinner.
- Close the door during your together time.
- A weekend away now and then.
- Visit one of your parent’s home.
- Go to watch a movie.
5. Let him feel your value
You are the person who cooks for him, washes his clothes, cleans his house, and turns a house into a HOME. Let him know how important a role you are playing in his life. Tell him what you deserve.
6. Increase the bond with the dog.
As I mentioned earlier, your partner is a dog person, and you aren’t. (Read this to understand why do some people hate small dogs)
If you don’t help your partner feed the dog or help the dog walk, or literally don’t care about the dog, please consider supporting your partner and get some of his responsibilities of the dog.
Because people raise dogs, not just as pets. There are a handful of reasons for that. Read this to understand why your husband/bf might want a dog, and you don’t.
By the way, consider following the suggestions below in order to thrive the bond between you and the dog.
- Hand feeding.
- Groom it by yourself.
- Play in the backyard.
- Teach new tricks.
- Spend some quility time together.
- Walk the dog.
- Make the eye contact with the dog.
- Cuddle it.
- Communicate clearly with the dog.
- Trian the dog.
- Praise it for good behavior.
When your partner sees you as another great dog person and loves his dog, He will definitely start giving you the love and attention you deserve.
Sometimes in our lives, we have to dig deeper into our hearts to understand if the problem is with my partner or with me.
7. Keep the dog busy.
If you think the problem is the dog, and it always tries to divert your relationship and get his attention, perhaps, keeping the dog busy all the time is another excellent solution.
Here are some suggestions to try.
- Give a bone or a chew toy to chew on.
- Make the create comfortable.
- Provide adaquyate excersies to burn off its energy, and it will sleep for hours.
- Fill a kong toy with peanut butter.
- Get another dog, so they can play with each other without interupting your relationship.
- Inreoduce new toys.
- Turn on TV..
8. Train the dog.
If you feel that your husband/boyfriend chooses the dog over you when he doesn’t accept the accusations you make about the dog’s misbehavior, aggression, and other behavioral issues, consider starting training the dog after discussing with your partner.
If you feel that this training is beyond your control, seek help from a professional dog trainer. Trust me, It’s well worth your time and money.
Tips for living with your husband/boyfriend and the dog peacefully
This part will teach you how to fix this matter. If your husband/boyfriend chooses his dog over you, after doing these facts, it will end.
First of all, you have to be patient as a real human being. And then you can go on a picnic with them to have a good time. Doing some indoor activities will break your ordinary lifestyle.
The next one is to be strategic and finally give random hugs and kisses to your partner and his dog. If you do these things correctly, your boyfriend/husband will not choose his dog over you.
Be patient: this is the crucial thing. When both start to fight or argue, it will become a second world war. So someone should tolerate these things if you wanna go ahead with your partner.
Go picnic: you should go on a picnic with your partner and dog at least once a week. So you can play with them and enjoy yourself a lot. Therefore the dog will love you too.
Do indoor activities: Try to stay close to your partner and his dog. So what you have to do is arrange indoor activities like hiding and seek. Playing can make and strengthen the bond between two of them.
Be strategic: As women, we know how to handle a man. So my advice is to use your strategies. Make delicious meals, try to be alone, be supportive, admire your man. These facts will work, and he will choose you over his dog. But do not leave his dog. You have to be a good dog owner. If you can allocate enough time for play with your dog, it will be friendly to you. Learn how dogs behave, and you will understand how to live with a dog peacefully.
Random kisses and hugs: This part is precious during a relationship. Although you hate dogs, you have to act normally. Do not let your partner and his dog alone. Try to stay with them, and then they will realize how much you love them and respect them.
Talk lovely and kind and then hug his dog. When he sees your change, he will respect you more than before.
Things to be aware of
- Don’t be unselfish
Life is a long journey that cannot go alone. Sometimes you need a strong hand to grab you. The man who gives a hand is your partner. So being selfish is like poison. Not only your partner but also his dog. Don’t let him choose the dog over you and teach him about equality.
Sometimes we sacrifice our favorite face because we need to keep our relationship ahead. If you are an anti-dog person, do not argue with your partner. What you have to do is be patient and sympathetic. You will get your partner’s attention if you love his dog as well.
- Being rough
Normally a dog owner deeply thinks about their puppy’s desire. So you should not mistreat his dog. It may break your bond. Be strategic and manage both Your partner and his dog as well.
Like I said before, if you wanna make a bond with your partner’s dog, what you have to do is give your attention. Dogs are amiable if you like them. On the other hand, when you try to be friends with his dog, you will take your partner’s attention.
And he will think twice when choosing the dog over you. Using one stone, you can kill two birds.
- Make special meal
Food is a miracle. Tasty foods can increase your bond with your partner. If you can make delicious foods, your partner will never prioritize the dog over you. This is a super-secret. And keep this in your mind, make delicious food for his dog too. That’s how a decent woman behaves.
In a strong and good relationship, mutual understanding plays a significant role. After a dog’s arrival, your relationship should build up. Most couples get into emotional trouble after they bring a dog. The most famous issue is that one of them likes the dog more than the partner. In simpler terms, your boyfriend/husband chooses the dog over you. In this article, I have solved all the matters you deal with. I wish you to have a new chapter of your life.